A blog by Luke Akehurst about politics, elections, and the Labour Party - With subtitles for the Hard of Left. Just for the record: all the views expressed here are entirely personal and do not necessarily represent the positions of any organisations I am a member of.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Consensus Politics - the Australian Rules version

Political dialogue on Hackney Council can sometimes get a bit heated, but pales into nothing compared to the insults flung about in Australian politics.

Here are some of the best, courtesy of www.news.com.au:

Former Labor Prime Minister Paul Keating:
On John Howard:
“What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him.”
“...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition...”
“But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It’s like ‘Spot the eyebrows’.”
And of his 1986 leadership - “From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I’ll do everything to crucify him.”
On Wilson Tuckey:
“Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!”
“You box head you wouldn’t know. You are flat out counting past ten.”
On John Hewson:
“A feral abacus”
“His performance is like being flogged with a warm lettuce”
“The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly” - after Hewson asked him why he wouldn’t call an early election
On Andrew Peacock’s prospects of leading the Liberals for a second time:
“A soufflé never rises twice”
Former Labor Leader Mark Latham:
“Hand in your badge, Adolf.” - directed at former immigration minister Philip Ruddock.
“Howard is an arse-licker. He went over there, kissed some bums, and got patted on the head.” - description of Prime Minister John Howard’s trip to the United States.
“There they are a conga line of suck holes on the conservative side of politics.”
“John Howard has forgotten how to be a good Australian, not some yes-man to a flaky and dangerous American president.” - On Coalition support for the war in Iraq.
“He has this sort of habit of thinking that if you comb a couple of strands of hair over the top of your bald head, nobody will notice. And that you know they’ll think that you’ve got a full head of hair.” - On Bob McMullan 19/9/2005 Andrew Denton Show
Treasurer Peter Costello:
“That is enough to put me into a cold sweat. If I look tired it is because I have thought of that in the middle of the night” - Treasurer Peter Costello ponders the thought of a Labor Government
Prime Minister John Howard:
“You tree hugger you.” - Howard’s response to a journalist asking a question about Tasmania’s old growth forests
Union Leader Bill Shorten:
On former Labor Leader Mark Latham:
He ""possesse[d] all the attributes of a dog except loyalty"


Blogger Dave Cole said...

Paul Keating on Malcolm Fraser:

"You look like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razorblades"

5:17 pm, August 15, 2006

Blogger Luke Young said...

I never knew the aussies could be so wild!

10:39 pm, August 15, 2006

Blogger Welsh Spin said...

"I'm a bastard. But I'm a bastard who gets the mail through."
Paul Keating

4:17 pm, August 16, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

SOME OLD NEWS FROM PHILIP RUDDOCK AND AUSTRALIA.He has no feeling or empathy for anyone except his stamp collection.

PHILIP RUDDOCK is now Australia's Attorney General.Philip Ruddock is also known as the "Walking Cadaver."


The following is an article from the "Sydney Morning Herald"September, 17th, 1996.


The Government will cap and kill applications by Australians to bring their overseas spouses into Australia a move which would see long-term separations of married couples unless the Opposition allows through the Senate tough new measures to curb applications.
The Minister for Immigration, Mr Ruddock,said the draconian move,allowable under present law but never used in relation to spouses, would help curb huge increases in applications for spouses, some of which were shams, but others 'a fraud on Australians'.
Under present practise,applications for offshore spouses to come are allowed regardless of the quota set.Mr Ruddock wants to enforce his quota by a cap and queue regulation, making applicants after the qouta is reached to wait, possibly for months, until heading the queue for next years intake.
But in the face of Labor opposition in the Senate, he threatened to use his general cap and kill power to terminate applications made post-qouta.This would force Australians to apply again next year on equal terms with next year's applicants, causing indefinite separations.
Mr Ruddock's threat, which contradicts the Coalition's strong pro-family rhetoric but is part of a clampdown on migration numbers,was denounced by Labor's immigration spokeman, Mr Duncan Kerr, as social engineering.
The Opposition last week knocked off in the Senate one of several changes to regulations to tighten elegibility for 'preferential family' migration,available to spouses and aged parents.Mr Kerr told the Herald Labor would also disallow Mr Ruddock's 'cap and queue' regulation.
Mr Ruddock told the Herald that if people who had already applied were allowed in,the progam would overstep this year's 36,700 quota by about 13,000.Rather than allow an overshoot, he would use his general power under current law to cap and kill,unless Labor stopped trying to micro-manage his immigration program by disallowing regulations in the Senate.
Mr Kerr said that 'Australians have always exercised their own choice on who they'll marry,and I don't believe any red-blooded Australian will allow the Government to force couples to queue up to live together.Now he's saying if he can't queue them he'll cut them off.
'If you meet and marry in January,thats OK,but if you're a December bride or groom you mightn't be able to get your spouse in for years.'
Mr Ruddock said he did not regard cap and terminate as the best outcome, but if it is necessary I will be applying it.
He said Labor had maintained a steady 37,000 quota for four years,before lifting it last year to 50,000.Many people had reported partners 'walking out the door as soon as they arrive in Australia.' 'The fraud is being occasioned on Australians by people seeking to migrate,' he said.
Mr Kerr blamed the increase on the wash-up of the Tiananmen Square massacre,under which Labor granted 40,000 Chinese people refugee status.But Mr Ruddock said there rises in applications accross the board, and the percentage increase was as great in England."

Article from the Sydney Morning Herald.August, 25th, 1997.


"reactionary bean counters' viewed families as a burden and believed the only people who should be allowed to migrate to Australia were individuals with money.
Australia was simply lucky to get away with those old discriminations but we will not be so lucky again.The world turned on apartheid South Africa.I don't want Australia to become the new world target because racism is allowed to penetrate our political and administritive systems."
[From the outgoing head of the Ethnic Communties Council of NSW.]

JOHN HOWARD-The Lying Rodent.John Howard wants free trade but not the free movement of people.He thinks Australias biggest assets are its sheep, coal and uranium not people.He says he has the final solution to our problems "Too many people."

The Blacklist
"Philip Ruddock gazetted regulations when he was Australia's immigration minister[number S241 of 1997] to stop visitors from many countries coming to Australia and among them is Poland.[Israel is also on the list as well as the following countries-Bangladesh, Burma, Cambodia, Chile, China, Colombia, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Egypt, Fiji, Greece, Hungary, India, Iran, Jordan, Lebanon, Macedonia, Mauritius, Nauru, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Portugal, Romania, Samoa, Slovakia, Sri Lanka, Syria, Tonga, Turkey, Ukraine, Uruguay, Vanuatu, Vietnam and Yugoslavia]."

More at











9:54 pm, September 09, 2006


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