A blog by Luke Akehurst about politics, elections, and the Labour Party - With subtitles for the Hard of Left. Just for the record: all the views expressed here are entirely personal and do not necessarily represent the positions of any organisations I am a member of.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Akehurst Diet

The mirror to this blog set up by spoofster/online stalker is a constant source of insight into the psychological "issues" afflicting its anonymous author.

95% of it is extremely well-observed satire. 5% is just nasty for the sake of it in a fairly playground way. There's the not very well disguised homophobia and the obsession with people's physical appearances.

In my case this has now moved on from my hair colour to my weight and Linda's with a charming cartoon illustrating how much we "enjoy lard".

Neither of us is the slimmest of people but I am tempted to consult my lawyers about this slight upon our diet.

Those who know me are well aware that the Akehurst diet is in fact identical to the Atkins diet but with the additions of carbohydrates and alcohol. Specifically, it includes all the major food groups: foie gras, claret, steak, claret, unpasteurised soft cheeses, claret, claret and sometimes port. Similar diets have made Charles Clarke and Tom Watson the men they are today. As Hipp Organic and Cow & Gate don't do foie gras flavour Jed is not yet able to share this.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you about the "well-observed satire" and the "nasty" if "playful" bits of your alter-site. It's also, as you observe, "obsessed with physical appearances", although the advertisement from The Lard Information Council appears to be genuine and I guess everyone ate lard in those days (before you were born, I think).

But I can't agree with your comment that the spoof site contains "not very well disguised homophobia". As someone who has been reading both sites for a while, I have not observed a single comment on the spoof site about Cllrs. Hanson or Laing, leastways not in reference to their sexuality. Both of these clleagues of yours are of course regular contributors to the gay press and make no issue of their orientation.

I may be wrong here, but I think the target of this group of individuals may be their perception of hypocritical behaviour amongst Labour councillors, rather than sexuality.

For example, a close look at the article "Out and Proud" about one of your councillors outing another one seems to bear this out. Before posting this comment, I ran a blog search on Darren Parker, the councillor concerned. It did not take me long to find the original posting by a 24-year-old Londoner by the name of Trixie Karinski, who posted the offending picture of Cllr. Parker back on 3rd January 2006 (before either of your blogs were launched, I believe). The posting refers to "the type of photos he takes of himself when drunk at 4a.m."

This gives me a clue. I suspect that it may be behaviour not befitting a member of Hackney Council that is stirring the secret bloggers - not the sexuality of their victims.

11:16 pm, September 11, 2006

Blogger Luke Akehurst said...

I think you are confusing hypocrisy - lying about your personal behaviour or not practicing privately what you publicly preach - with privacy - i.e. not expecting the bits of your life that are nothing to do with being in public life to be raised in a political context - unless you choose to put them there. For myself I accept that loss of privacy comes with the territory of being in politics but I'd defend the right of others to keep their private lives separate from their political activity without being accused of hypocrisy by websites hiding behind anonymity.

12:01 am, September 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I kina agree with you. I do think these people are a bit intrusive into councillors' private lives. I think a bit less on Parker's night-time habits and a bit more on him casting deciding votes for tower block developments while employed by an interested party and not declaring an interest would be more the kind of thing that I would publish if I ran a website.

12:14 am, September 12, 2006

Blogger Luke Akehurst said...

Whilst the other member of my household voted against the application in question I'm not going to let you get away with claiming Darren did not declare an interest when he used his casting vote for. He works for a statutory consultee - CABE - not the developer or an objector. I assume he is not allowed to work on applications in Hackney. He therefore had no interest to declare that could have prejudiced the way he voted. Being a sensible young man he had asked the Borough Solicitor for a ruling on this before taking part in the meeting.

12:31 am, September 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There you are. You make assumptions, but I don't. I don't think there are any chinese walls in CABE and moreover the head of CABE has made public statements in support of the scheme. I believe that it's gone for legal challenge anyway, so what the hell. The people from OPEN can handle that.

I'd be interested to know who the Borough Solicitor that Parker consulted is supposed to be. Last time I heard the position was vacant.

1:19 am, September 12, 2006

Anonymous Pat Kelly said...

Isn't foie gras the exclusive preserve of conservatives... and ones with no concern for animal welfare to boot?

The trouble with you is that I never know when you are being satirical and when you are telling the truth. In your case it's so hard to tell which is which.

1:24 am, September 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's called "taking your comfort". We want lean councillors who are hungry for change and not hungry for pate.

9:07 am, September 12, 2006

Blogger Luke Akehurst said...

Pat - as a farmer's son I am not really known for my interest in animal welfare. Particularly not when the livers of the animals concerned taste very good.

Anonymous - the Director of Law/Borough Solicitor is Mr Sullivan Gould. It is impossible in law for any council to have a vacancy for the position of Monitoring Officer, which would be the capacity in which this kind of advice would be sought. As CABE are consulted on every major planning application what you are basically saying is that Cllr Parker shouldn't be on the committee at all - again this contradicts the Monitoring Officer's advice.

Anyway enough about Hackney or all my readers in Whitehall SPADs' offices will doze off.

9:21 am, September 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm well aware that Meic Sullivan-Gould is in overall charge. But when you said Borough Solicitor I was confused because there seems to be some confusion about whether a new Head of Legal Services has been appointed. From what I've heard on the street, the person in question says she has been given the job, but CEO Penny Thompson says no appointment has been made.

12:17 pm, September 12, 2006

Blogger Luke Akehurst said...

You know far more about the comings and goings at the Town Hall than I either do or want to.

The only person in the legal department that councillors need to concern themselves with in terms of seeking ethical guidance is the Monitoring Officer, who polices our behaviour.

12:21 pm, September 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"From what I've heard on the street, the person in question says she has been given the job, but CEO Penny Thompson says no appointment has been made. "

get a job and get a life you sad sad man.

5:59 pm, September 12, 2006

Anonymous observer said...

"There's the not very well disguised homophobia and the obsession with people's physical appearances."

Errr ... that would be in reference to Linda's snide reference to a Vicar in a Tutu, would it?

12:05 pm, September 13, 2006

Blogger Luke Akehurst said...

I think Linda was trying to find an affectionate way of having a dig at someone we both like but whose behaviour was disappointing.

12:54 pm, September 13, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not entirely sure how a photo someone takes of himself represents his "behaviour". Posting random photos of people is just prying into stuff that doesn't even slightly affect his role as a councillor.

4:11 am, October 11, 2006

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