The Akehurst Diet
The mirror to this blog set up by spoofster/online stalker is a constant source of insight into the psychological "issues" afflicting its anonymous author.
95% of it is extremely well-observed satire. 5% is just nasty for the sake of it in a fairly playground way. There's the not very well disguised homophobia and the obsession with people's physical appearances.
In my case this has now moved on from my hair colour to my weight and Linda's with a charming cartoon illustrating how much we "enjoy lard".
Neither of us is the slimmest of people but I am tempted to consult my lawyers about this slight upon our diet.
Those who know me are well aware that the Akehurst diet is in fact identical to the Atkins diet but with the additions of carbohydrates and alcohol. Specifically, it includes all the major food groups: foie gras, claret, steak, claret, unpasteurised soft cheeses, claret, claret and sometimes port. Similar diets have made Charles Clarke and Tom Watson the men they are today. As Hipp Organic and Cow & Gate don't do foie gras flavour Jed is not yet able to share this.